So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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