we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
