dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
