i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
