I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
