This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i think my cat just said my name.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
