i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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