I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We are two peas in an std pod
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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