puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
