Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
