I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
