I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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