we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
