So drunk its hurt
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
