I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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