making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
