i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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