Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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