Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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