I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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