Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
