Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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