Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
