...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
