Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
