Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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