Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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