You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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