How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
dude. I can hear the air.
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