sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
