I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
