After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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