At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
