do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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