So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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