Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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