Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
