Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
