Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize