So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
this is an emotional support booty call
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
