pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
