Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
