he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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