Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
