OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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