Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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