You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
