dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
