You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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