I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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