Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
